X-Men Origins: Wolverine: Colon: Long Title: More Titles

Wolverine is a movie that is pretty terrible. But if you know that before going in then you can enjoy it greatly! I kept making the mistake of trying to figure out which characters were which mutants in the comic, which I should have learned from X-Men 3 wouldn't work because despite having 40+ years of mutants to choose from these movies prefer to make up people instead and then add in some token "for the fans" characters that have nothing to do with their comic book counterparts so I don't understand how that works. Although let's be honest, Will.I.Am was pretty great, but perhaps this is because I have a weakness for people in stupid cowboy hats wearing too many turquoise rings. Also they made up a mutant for him to be. Honestly? They couldn't find a black mutant for him to play? Is X-Men really short on minority mutants? I am pretty sure they are not, honestly. I am sure if you dig through enough comics you can find a jive-talking black teleporting mutant.

This is a better Deadpool than Deadpool in the movie.



HOWEVER. I knew it was gonna be pretty horrible going into the film, and went in expecting to see mutants use their superpowers and then see shit blow up. I was not disappointed. You can make a pretty good drinking game out of it. Take a shot each time Wolverine and Sabertooth growl at each other. Take a shot every time Wolverine looks at his hand. Take a shot every time there's blatant fanservicing. Take a shot every time someone looks up into the sky and screams. Take a shot every time the guy playing Gambit forgets that he's supposed to have a Cajun accent.

You will die of alcohol poisoning.